Bernie By A Hoverboard

I was in the checkout line at the Walmart recently. That’s what they call it in Indiana, “the” Walmart. My dad worked there before he came out of retirement because of sheer boredom. It was the only place that would hire him (he was in his early 80s) because of his advanced age. He was a janitor and loved playing Santa Claus at Christmastime. He did it until the “cheap bastards” (his words) in corporate decided one year they couldn’t afford to rent a costume.

He said of all the places he worked in his lifetime, and he worked plenty, the Walmart employees had the lowest morale. Anyway, I was at the Walmart when a customer came gliding in on a hover board just as smooth as you please. Effortlessly, smiling serenely, he rolled right past me and disappeared into the store.

I want one of those, I thought. Then later, in the parking lot on the way to my car, I quickly changed my mind. I’ve never been good at anything that requires a device to be strapped to my feet. I’ve tried it all, snow skiing, water skiing, ice skating, roller skating, skateboarding, you name it. I can’t do it. If I had a hover board, very shortly I’d have a broken kneecap and a smashed elbow. It looks fun, though.

Now, a brief word about the topic of today’s cartoon: Early on with Obamacare, President Obama was thinking out loud about a single payer plan. When he bowed to the opposition and dropped it, I lost most of my interest in the fate of the ACA. Well, Bernie, thanks for bringing it up again. It probably has as much chance as before, but I’m feeling the Bern.