Don't Confuse Us, Our Minds Are Made Up!

OK, stop with the debates, already. We’ve heard enough arguing, fighting, backstabbing, dick-waving, accusations, lying and rancor. We can’t watch any more debates because we get nightmares and we need our sleep. We will vote for any Republican no matter what. We will vote for a Democrat whether he’s a socialist or she’s a woman. We will vote for a Republican man whether he turns out to be like Benito Mussolini, Adolph Hitler, Hugo Chavez or Silvio Berlusconi. We will vote for a Democrat even if she spends the rest of her life in prison, or if he loves guns and the Second Amendment.

And, speaking of guns, our Republican can shoot a person in the middle of Fifth Ave. or make Christianity the official religion of America, we don’t care. He can declare bankruptcy 25 times, change his position on immigration a 100 times, or be married 200 times, we don’t care. What if his hot model future first lady wife posed nude on the company jet, we don’t care. Maybe the Democrat’s husband is a serial rapist and lies under oath, we don’t care. Maybe those two Democrats killed Vince Foster, we don’t care. Maybe the Democrat is really, really old. I repeat, we don’t care.

The sides are drawn, the battlefield prepared, the future leader of the United States of America is about to be secured for the next four years and it could be a disaster. Our country may find out what it’s like to be isolated by the other countries of the world. Our economy may go into the toilet. We may be embroiled in another war we can’t win. We don’t care. We’re too filled with hate and fear of “The Other” to care, so let’s vote now. Our minds are made up.