When My Baby...

When my baby smiles at me, I go to Rio! De Janeiro! But when I come home, will my baby rub me down with calamine? Lotion?

OK, I changed some of the lyrics to the Peter Allen song. The 2016 Summer Olympics is truly an Olympics for our times. Brazil’s screwed up bureaucracy, unfinished venues, athletes swimming in some of the most polluted water on Earth and those pesky mosquitoes spreading that pesky zika virus are just some of the dangers. Throw in worldwide global terrorism and the inherent security concerns for a large gathering and you’ve got several nervous breakdowns in progress.

In a related breaking story, Brazilian scientists have discovered a new drug-resistant super bacteria in the ocean water Olympians will be sailing in and human body parts have been found near one of the Olympics sites. Oh, and the cops say they won’t be able to protect the crowds.

In the most popular English language translation of the lyrics to the Olympic Hymn, there is a line “Create in our breasts, hearts of steel, shine in a roseate hue...” I hope it’s not from a burning skin rash.