Stop Clowning Around

I can’t believe the hysteria that’s so close to the surface in this country. I see a combination of the continued aftermath of the 9-11 attacks, the continued random terrorist attacks on our citizens, climate change and the vulgar presidential campaign for whipping our citizens into a frenzy. And now, my friends, it’s scary clowns. Historians will have a field day writing about this time we live in. I’ll help them.

1. The 9-11 attacks changed America from the home of the brave to the home of the scared shitless. The 24-7 cable news industry keeps everyone on edge. Even the weather report for a sunny day tomorrow or news about cute puppies and kittens is broadcast in a most ominous tone of voice.

2. Random terror happens with regularity and we all know there is really nothing we can do to prevent these attacks other than take practical measures. But we all know that, now and then, someone will succeed. In our hearts, we know that somewhere on earth, some terrorist, or group of terrorists, will get their evil hands on a nuclear device. We can only hope and pray it won’t be anywhere in America.

3. The Earth is warming and our leaders can’t agree whether it’s caused by fossil fuels being spewed into the air, or whether it’s a natural phenomenon. Either way, oceans will rise until a new cycle starts cooling the planet issuing in another ice age.

4. Two of the most hated, reviled candidates in history are campaigning for the White House. Trump is a vile, vulgar fraud and Hillary is the first woman to reach for the office. Her gender alone stirs up hatred among way too many people. We’ll know more about our future after Nov. 8, and of course the historians will know what happened.

5. Now, on top of all this, people are putting pictures of creepy clowns on social media. That’s right. Clowns. Students in high school and college are running in a panic through the streets at the thought of creepy clowns invading their neighborhoods. Oh, and historians, is there a way you can come back from the future and tell us everything turns out all right?